"G'Kar?" he whispered, not truly wanting to know the answer. s
"Alive," she replied, and his heart gave a little leap. "He contacted me from Dros. He's on his way here now. He should be here soon. He sounded…. I don't know. He was alive." y
"That's good." o
"Yes, but…. someone died. Lennier. I don't know if you remember him…. He came with me and Londo when I was…. ill. He helped me. He…. didn't make it away. So many didn't." u
She kept talking. John kept holding her. w
"I did not know him well, but he was a good man, and a good friend of Londo's. He was a…. reminder of my past…. and now he's gone. I look around sometimes and I wonder what is left of my life. All the pieces I once knew are disappearing one by one until I fear there will be nothing left." i
"I'm here," he said. But he had not been. For so long he had not been. He had left her on Z'ha'dum. He had not been there when their son died unborn. He had failed her time and time again. l
Just as he had failed Anna. l
"What are we doing now?" o
"There's going to be a meeting of the Council. As soon as G'Kar gets here. We need to work out…. what to do. The Vorlon Ambassador hasn't been seen since…. it happened. Some people are screaming for revenge, others for some kind of agreement. But until the Vorlons talk to us, we don't know what to do. I need to talk to G'Kael, and G'Kar. Especially G'Kar. Ambassador Durano hasn't done anything, which worries me. Lethke doesn't know what to do. We're all just…. trying to stay standing while the earth moves beneath our feet." b
"We're on a space station. The ground is always moving beneath our feet." e
"I know." y
"Delenn…. there's…. something we need to talk about. About us. I know things have been distant between us recently and I'm as much to blame…. more so, but…. This isn't the right time, is it?" u
"I am sorry, John. I cannot think, but I do want to talk to you." s
"Tonight?" y
She nodded. "Tonight." o
He kissed the top of her forehead and reluctantly pulled back from their embrace. "I should go and…. do things. Talk with Kulomani, perhaps. Let me know if G'Kar shows up, and I'll see you later." u
"Yes," she breathed, her green eyes awash in an ocean of tears. w
"Later." i
llobeyus
* * *
The song spoke to her in a language she had never before experienced. It was a song of mourning and memory and joy. Sinoval stood in the centre of the ruined city, his arms spread wide, his face upturned to the heavens, and sang. y
Through eyes sparkling with tears, Susan saw again her last goodbye to her brother. She saw the last conversation with her mother. She re — lived the last argument with her father. A hundred images filled her mind at once and she wept for each of them. o
Remembering the feel of David's skin on her fingers, she sank to her knees, holding her head in her hands. Laurel's voice touched her mind. Everything she had ever done, everything she had ever known, everything she had ever lost. u
Hunched into a ball, she crouched there, shaking, furious at the invasion of her privacy, at the violation of her memories and her emotions. w
She fell forward and thrust out with her hand to steady herself. As she touched the ground, she pulled back sharply. i
The ground was warm with heat and with life. Opening her eyes, she looked at it and saw red light crackling beneath the greyness and the blackness. l
Blinking away the tears, she looked around. The Tuchanq were on all fours, heads raised towards the sky, crooning along with the song. The sound was so alien, so full of love and power, that Susan wanted to cover her head and hide. l
She felt like an outsider, like a trespasser at a sacred and holy ritual. This was not her world. Her world had been blasted to rock and rubble. These were not her people. This was not her cause. o
She should not be here. b
And yet she could not find the strength to rise and leave. e
Sinoval seemed lost in the song, standing still as a statue. Around him burned a golden glow, and then, before Susan's eyes, ghosts began to appear beside him, rising from the earth and shimmering beneath the sky. Tuchanq, human, Narn, Drazi, Centauri and a hundred races she had no name for or comprehension of. There was even a Vorlon flickering below the slate — grey clouds. y
The light was almost blinding. u
Sinoval's face was emotionless as the souls joined him in his song. Susan had not thought him capable of singing. Her mother had told her that to sing involved laying out the secrets of one's heart to public view. Susan did not think Sinoval had a heart, let alone any secrets there to lay out. s
But the way he sang, the power and majesty in his voice…. it fitted. It was a song of war and a song of the peace that comes after war. It was a warrior's song, and a peacemaker's song. It was the song of a leader and a prophet and a messiah. y
And a saviour. o
The song stopped, the spirits vanished and Susan again found the courage to look up and around. The sky was a bright blue, a colour so intense it almost blinded her. The ground was red and gold. u
The Tuchanq were on all fours, heads bowed before Sinoval. w
"Saviour," they whispered. "Saviour." i
"One world dies," Sinoval intoned. "And another is returned to life. Such is the way of the universe." l
Susan wanted to hit him. l
obeyus
* * *
"In case you didn't hear me the first six hundred times, I don't want you doing this." y
"Which of us is in charge of me?" o
"I'm telling you, I don't like this. I may not be able to read minds, but I have pretty good instincts. That's what Mr. Edgars thought my telepathic powers were: hunches and minor premonitions. Something bad's going to happen, and that Vindrizi and that Box are at the centre of it." u
Talia's eyes flashed with momentary anger. Dexter stood there, arms folded, staring at her. "Whatever force controls the Box is on our side. It helps us." w
"But we don't know what it is?" i
"We know enough. It helps us, it is anathema to the Vorlons and the network in some way, and it can foretell the future. I don't need to see a 'Made in Proxima' stamp on the bottom." l
"I can tell enough of the future, thanks, and I don't like it. The Vindrizi, either." l
"You couldn't understand!" Dexter took a step back, as if he had been struck. "I am going to commune with the spirit within the Box. All you have to do is make sure nothing interferes with me. If that's too hard for you, I can get someone else to do it." o
"If it's too hard for my mundane little mind, you mean." He looked at her for a long while. He had seen her pass through numerous personae. Bester had trained her as an infiltrator and saboteur, and she was a master of disguise. There had been times when he had been with her that he had not been sure which persona was real and what was crafted illusion. b
Now, he was sure that what he was looking at was real. She was angry, her eyes blazing. A leader and a soldier and a protector of her people. e
Which did not include him. y
"Do what you like," he spat, walking away. He wanted to be as far away from that accursed Box as possible. u
He did not see the expression on her face, but he did not want to. He walked out among her people, her telepaths, and was stricken afresh by how different he was from them. These weren't his people, and this wasn't his war. His people were the inhabitants of Sector 301. He had sworn to protect and help them, and what was he gaining by getting involved in telepath matters? s
He wished he could go to Bo's, have a drink and a game of poker, or find Bethany and talk to her, joke and flirt and share gossip. y
He leaned against a wall, irritated and tired and wanting a drink. o
He knew that even if she were here, he couldn't talk to Bethany, not about this. He liked her. She was attractive and intelligent and they shared a lot of the same interests, but he didn't feel anything for her. He had only loved two women in his life, and he had killed one of them and just finished arguing with the other. u
"You look troubled," said a voice. Dexter turned to look at the Vindrizi. w
"I'm not in the mood," he said. "I've had enough of this." i
"'This' what?" l
"This. This isn't my concern at all. I want to make Proxima as safe and secure and well — off as I can. I want people to stop using Sector Three — o–one as a dumping ground. I want to find someone I can care for, and live a happy life and have children. I'll fight for those I love. I'll fight for my home. l
"But I don't want to fight in some galaxy — wide war between Gods. I don't want to save the entire universe, and I don't want to be the two of hearts in someone else's galactic poker game." o
"You have strong beliefs." b
"Yeah, guess so." He drummed his fingers against the wall. "God, I wish I was…. somewhere else." e
"Where would you rather be?" y
"Anywhere." He rubbed at his eyes. "I've got a headache coming on." u
"Do you know why we were sent here?" s
"To recruit us as cannon fodder in this war of yours." y
"No. The one we represent is a warlord, a leader of soldiers and perhaps of worlds. But he is not human, and he cannot think as a human. He is a…. man of great potential, for darkness as well as for light. He is fighting for all the peoples of this galaxy, and he cannot fight for humanity unless humanity wishes to fight beside him. There is no point in your being some card in his game — and we do not believe he plays games of cards anyway." o
"Smart man," Dexter drawled. u
"He wants you to lead humanity, fighting for the same cause as he is. Or rather, he is fighting for the same cause as you. Everything you want, the enemy will strip away from you. If you want to protect your ideals, you will have to fight the enemy for them, and he wants to help you do that, for your enemy is his, and your victory serves his goals." w
"Me?" i
"We were sent to find you. Personally." l
"Me?" l
"You would be surprised where our eyes see and what our ears hear." o
"Me?" b
"Do you not want to be a leader?" e
"Tried it once. It didn't work. Get this, I'm not a hero, I'm just a man trying to do the right thing without screwing up too much." y
"Most heroes are. Apart from the female ones of course, but the basic principle is the same." u
Dexter shook his head and winced. "Christ, I need to lie down. Listen, I'm not a…. not a…." He tried to blink. There were lights flashing in front of his eyes. The air had suddenly become very acrid. "What the…. Oh, God, Talia…." s
He turned away and made to go over to Talia. His legs gave way beneath him and he almost fell. The Vindrizi caught and supported him. A trickle of blood was coming from the human host's nose. y
"Talia…." He limped and ran to where he had left her. "I knew it," he whispered. "I knew it." o
She was still, sitting cross — legged before the Apocalypse Box, as if in a trance. The others were the same. A thick, acrid red mist was seeping from the box. u
"The Dead Ones," the Vindrizi muttered thickly. "It is the Lords of Death." w
"The Lords of…. You mean…. your leader and…." i
"No. The Others. The beings from beyond the gateway of worlds." l
Dexter reeled and fell, his head spinning. It took every effort he had simply to lift his head. The Box was wide open and something seemed to be emerging from it. It was only half — visible, shrouded by the thick mist, and Dexter was extremely grateful for that. It was hideous enough as it was. Massive, and the grey — white colour of a bleached skeleton. One long tendril slid out from the mist, lashing at the air, green spores seeming to drift from the tip. l
He could see two eyes, enormous black things that spoke of incredible hatred, for him and for Talia, and for everything that lived. The creature slowly raised itself out of the box. o
"There is danger," whispered the Vindrizi, as if in a trance. "Remember." b
eyus
* * *
The garden was empty and oddly silent. Even the normal noises appeared to have ceased. The station seemed to have stopped turning. y
General John Sheridan, Shadowkiller, was sitting looking idly at the rock garden. He was not even sure why there was a rock garden here. He supposed the Minbari or the Rangers might use it as a meditation aid. Perhaps G'Kar had insisted on it. A rock garden would certainly suit him. o
Sheridan was glad G'Kar was on his way. He needed the Narn prophet's wisdom right now. He had so little wisdom of his own to call on. u
He supposed he should go to his office. There was so much work to do. He would have to review Dark Star positioning, make sure everything was as it was supposed to be. He might need to call on a substantial part of the fleet. He would have to talk to Kulomani, see how things had been on the station. w
He wanted to talk to Delenn. He wanted to ask her. A part of him felt it was wrong to be thinking of such a personal situation at a time like this, but another part realised that he had to, because he was still alive, and because he was still alive he had to live his life. i
He remembered marrying Anna, not long after Earth…. He remembered the expressions of joy on the faces of his companions. l
He would ask Delenn tonight. He should have asked her a long time ago. l
He should have told her just how much she meant to him a long time ago. o
He should have done a great many things a long time ago. b
"Pardon me," said an unfamiliar, flawlessly spoken voice. "Is this seat taken?" e
Sheridan looked up. There was a human standing there, dressed in an antique costume consisting mostly of black. He wore a top hat and carried a silver — topped cane. Sheridan felt a cold wind pass straight through him. y
"No," he said. u
"You are no doubt wondering whether you should recognise me," said the newcomer. "Rest assured I know precisely who you are, General Sheridan. I have been kept fully abreast of your career and activities." He made no move to sit down. He seemed like the sort of man who would never relax, even in such an ordinary way. s
"Do I know you?" y
"Perhaps. It might be more accurate to say you almost certainly know of me. We have some mutual acquaintances, one in particular of whom I wish to speak." o
"Sinoval." u
The man smiled, a chilling expression that had not the slightest hint of warmth in it. "Precisely the person I was alluding to. I understand you may have had some dealings with him recently. Tell me, General Sheridan, have you been happy these past months? You have had many questions, yes?" w
"Too many." i
"As I thought." He sat down. "Perhaps I can help you with that difficulty, if you can assist me with mine." l
