She smiled up at me. She looked small and weak, miles from the angry, sweaty, muscular woman who had yelled at me when we finally got to the head of the line, yelled and then whacked me across the nape of the neck. She must have seen something on someone's face one of the other people waiting to ride the Bullet because I remember her saying What are you looking at, beautiful? as she lead me away by the hand, me snivelling under the hot summer sun, rubbing the back of my neck... only it didn't really hurt, she hadn't swatted me that hard; mostly what I remember was being grateful to get away from that high, twirling construction with the capsules at either end, that revolving scream machine.
“Mr. Parker, it really is time to go (/вам/ действительно пора идти),” the nurse said.
I raised my mother's hand and kissed the knuckles (я поднял руку матери и поцеловал пальцы: «костяшки /пальцев»). “I'll see you tomorrow (увидимся завтра),” I said. “I love you, ma (я люблю тебя, мама).”
“Love you, too (я тоже люблю тебя). Alan... sorry for all the times I swatted you (прости за все те подзатыльники: «прости за все разы, что я тебя била»). That was no way to be (этого не должно было быть).”
But it had been (но это было); it had been her way to be (она не могла по-другому: «это был ее способ/манера существовать»). I didn't know how to tell her I knew that, accepted it (я не знал, как сказать ей, что я знаю об этом, принимаю это). It was part of our family secret (это было частью нашей семейной тайны), something whispered along the nerve endings (чем-то передающимсяпо нервным окончаниям; to whisper — говорить шепотом, шептать; сообщать по секрету).
“I'll see you tomorrow, ma. Okay?”
She didn't answer (она не ответила). Her eyes had rolled shut again (ее глаза закрылись снова), and this time the lids didn't come back up (и на этот раз веки не поднялись снова). Her chest rose and fell slowly and regularly (ее грудь поднималась и опускалась медленно и равномерно). I backed away from the bed, never taking my eyes off her (я отступил от кровати, не отводя глаз от нее).
accept [qk'sept], nerve [nWv], regularly ['regjVlqlI]
“Mr. Parker, it really is time to go,” the nurse said.
I raised my mother's hand and kissed the knuckles. “I'll see you tomorrow,” I said. “I love you, ma.”
“Love you, too. Alan… sorry for all the times I swatted you. That was no way to be.”
But it had been; it had been her way to be. I didn't know how to tell her I knew that, accepted it. It was part of our family secret, something whispered along the nerve endings.
“I'll see you tomorrow, ma. Okay?”
She didn't answer. Her eyes had rolled shut again, and this time the lids didn't come back up. Her chest rose and fell slowly and regularly. I backed away from the bed, never taking my eyes off her.
In the hall I said to the nurse (в коридоре я спросил у медсестры), “Is she going to be all right (с ней все будет в порядке)? Really all right (действительно в порядке)?”
“No one can say that for sure, Mr. Parker (никто не может сказать это с уверенностью, мистер Паркер). She's Dr. Nunnally's patient (она пациентка доктора Наннэлли). He's very good (он очень хороший /доктор/). He'll be on the floor tomorrow afternoon and you can ask him (он будет на этаже завтра во второй половине дня, и вы можете спросить его) —”
“Tell me what you think (скажите, что вы думаете).”
“I think she's going to be fine (я думаю, с ней все будет в порядке),” the nurse said, leading me back down the hall toward the elevator lobby (ведя меня обратно по коридору к лифтовой площадке). “Her vital signs are strong (ее основные показатели хорошие: «сильные»; vital signs — основные показатели состояния организма /пульс, дыхание, температура, иногда кровяное давление/), and all the residual effects suggest a very light stroke (и все остаточные явления позволяют предположить, что это был легкий инсульт; to suggest — предлагать, советовать; внушать /мысль/; наводить /на мысль/; говорить, означать).” She frowned a little (она слегка нахмурилась). “She's going to have to make some changes, of course (конечно, ей придется изменить кое-что: «сделать несколько изменений»). In her diet... her lifestyle (в ее диете… образе жизни)…”
residual [rI'zIdjuql], suggest [sq'Gest], diet ['daIqt]
In the hall I said to the nurse, “Is she going to be all right? Really all right?”
“No one can say that for sure, Mr. Parker. She's Dr. Nunnally's patient. He's very good. He'll be on the floor tomorrow afternoon and you can ask him —”
“Tell me what you think.”
“I think she's going to be fine, the nurse said, leading me back down the hall toward the elevator lobby. Her vital signs are strong, and all the residual effects suggest a very light stroke.” She frowned a little. “She's going to have to make some changes, of course. In her diet... her lifestyle…”
“Her smoking, you mean (курение, вы имеете в виду).”
“Oh yes. That has to go (от этого нужно отказаться: «это должно уйти»).” She said it as if my mother quitting her lifetime habit would be no more difficult than moving a vase from a table in the living room to one in the hall (она сказала это так, как будто для моей матери бросить привычку всей ее жизни будет не труднее, чем переставить вазу со стола в гостиной на стол в коридоре; to quit — оставлять, покидать; бросать /привычку/). I pushed the button for the elevators (я нажал на кнопку лифта), and the door of the car I'd ridden up in opened at once (и дверь кабины, в которой я ехал наверх, открылась сразу же). Things clearly slowed down a lot at CMMC once visiting hours were over (очевидно, что все значительно замедлялось в больнице, когда заканчивались часы посещений; CMMC — отCentral Maine Medical Center).
“Thanks for everything (спасибо за все),” I said.
“Not at all (не за что). I'm sorry I scared you (простите, что напугала вас). What I said was incredibly stupid (то, что я сказала, было невероятно глупым).”
“Not at all (вовсе нет/ничего страшного),” I said, although I agreed with her (хотя я /внутренне/ соглашался с ней). Don't mention it (забудьте об этом: «не упоминайте этого»).”
quit [kwIt], incredibly [In'kredqblI], mention ['menS(q)n]
“Her smoking, you mean.”
“Oh yes. That has to go.” She said it as if my mother quitting her lifetime habit would be no more difficult than moving a vase from a table in the living room to one in the hall. I pushed the button for the elevators, and the door of the car I'd ridden up in opened at once. Things clearly slowed down a lot at CMMC once visiting hours were over.
“Thanks for everything,” I said.
“Not at all. I'm sorry I scared you. What I said was incredibly stupid.”
“Not at all,” I said, although I agreed with her. “Don't mention it.”
I got into the elevator and pushed for the lobby (я вошел в лифт и нажал /кнопку/ вестибюля). The nurse raised her hand and twiddled her fingers (медсестра подняла руку и помахала пальцами; to twiddle — вертеть, крутить; играть/чем-либо/). I twiddled my own in return (я помахал своими в ответ), and then the door slid between us (и дверь скользнула между нами). The car started down (кабина поехала вниз). I looked at the fingernail marks on the backs of my hands (я смотрел на отметины/следы от ногтей на тыльной стороне моих рук) and thought that I was an awful creature, the lowest of the low (и думал, что я ужасное создание/существо, подлейшее из подлых;low — низкий; невысокий; подлый). Even if it had only been a dream (даже если это было только сном), I was the lowest of the goddam low (я был, черт возьми, подлейшим из подлых). Take her (возьми ее), I'd said. She was my mother but I had said it just the same (она была моей матерью, но я все равно сказал это): Take my ma, don't take me (возьми мою маму, не бери меня). She had raised me (она вырастила меня; to raise — поднимать; растить; воспитывать), worked overtime for me (работала сверхурочно ради меня), waited in line with me under the hot summer sun in a dusty little New Hampshire amusement park (ждала в очереди со мной под жарким летним солнцем в пыльном маленьком парке развлечений Нью-Хэмпшера), and in the end I had hardly hesitated (и в конце концов я едва колебался). Take her, don't take me (возьми ее, не бери меня). Chickenshit, chickenshit, you fucking chickenshit (чертов трус).
return [rI'tWn], creature ['krJCq], hesitate ['hezIteIt]
I got into the elevator and pushed for the lobby. The nurse raised her hand and twiddled her fingers. I twiddled my own in return, and then the door slid between us. The car started down. I looked at the fingernail marks on the backs of my hands and thought that I was an awful creature, the lowest of the low. Even if it had only been a dream, I was the lowest of the goddam low. Take her, I'd said. She was my mother but I had said it just the same: Take my ma, don't take me. She had raised me, worked overtime for me, waited in line with me under the hot summer sun in a dusty little New Hampshire amusement park, and in the end I had hardly hesitated. Take her, don't take me. Chickenshit, chickenshit, you fucking chickenshit.
