trembling light of the ghostly cloth, lit up with a quick smile that immediately disappeared. It's him. His name was … No, she does not want to call this name. Let him be just the First. She loves and is loved, so it seemed. Not for long. No one is to blame, they were just too, too inexperienced. She just hastened then… Someone said — it is impossible to destroy an image with a divorce. Her answer — how can I be with an unloved person for the sake of an “image”? The movement of the paintings has accelerated even more, as if an unknown operator is in a hurry to get rid of his visitor from painful memories as soon as possible. Now, now … Her lips tightened, her eyes narrowed. Second. For a moment, a smile again — a daughter was born. Indifferent face. Near her in beginning and soon — disappeared, forever. He did not even try to be a father, to be a real husband. She was told later — this is how the Second applied to all his children, from other women. Did that comfort her? Not. She quickly learned not to forgive. The booming courtroom, her voice. Strong, clear, her pride — he suddenly weakened, became barely audible, almost a whisper. She stood and could not help it, the judge again and again asked to speak louder … She does not want to see it. Further, further … And another shadow came over — she would call him Doctor, although he had never been any doctor. There was a war and she so wanted to contribute to the fight, she even donated blood then, although it was not required. And after the shooting she felt unwell, dizzy, he supported … Conversation, a look, a grip of a hand. Spark. No, don't! She remembers, do not show it! Damn night highway, damn car … A moment of weakness. A woman silhouette with huge frilly hat on her head. Her name is Snake. Much things then happened because of her, and she doesn't want to remember any of this. She does not want. Will not want. Never. Her eyelids trembled, a lonely slow tear rolled down her cheek. Then she realized that it was time to change something, it was time to change herself. The time has come to state that I am different, I am no longer a “sweet universal's sister”. I don't want to be her anymore. Probably, I never really was.
The book in hand, she read it for a day without stopping. Here it is! How she was convincing, persistent, just like her recent heroines. And — that church, a quiet song, she had just sang it standing by the window… She did not sleep at nights was tormented by insomnia — let the fatigue be real! No glycerin tears. It should, should have happened! Then for a moment it seemed that she had broken free from the fetters of the imposed image. She is a goddess again! Oh, really? There are no gods without believing in them. The love of the crowd is cruel and selfish, it is quick to worship. And to sentence with oblivion. A sad smile on a pale haggard face… She closed her eyes, not wanting to see. Now this letter will appear. Oh, yes… She remembers a few of his short lines perfectly. As she remembers that endless evening and herself sitting alone in the twilight of the living room. Only one thought was monotonously repeated — that's it… That's it. Phone call. It was him, a Friend.
— I'll be right now, the contract is with me, you will enter the amount yourself. They will regret it.
— No.
— But…
— Come. Without papers. Sit with me…
Silence, black shadows throwing on the walls and ceiling, the crackle of a flame in the fireplace, golden brittle gleams on two crystal glasses. She haven't took a drink of her own.
— Thank you for everything. For all.
— Where are you now, what will you do? May be…
— No. Sorry.
Of course, she was not alone — her parents, sister, daughter … And soon … She squeezed her fingers on the old polished wood of the window sill, how dizzy she is again … Just like when He suddenly offered to leave with him, far away over the ocean. Leave everything. Forever and ever. Here is his face, these funny glasses … He did not know where to put his hands, having lost his European charm. At first, she didn’t even have something to say. Sure, before it happened she guessed and there were rumors about… All the same, it was unexpected and… Near him was warm, calm and joyful. She had never experienced anything like this before, and he felt it, with the eternal flair of a loving and beloved man. His eyes opened, still not fully believing … Yes! And after a short time — pronounced in a ringing voice "'oui", already here, in this small town, in a church nearby.
— But you'll have to always protect me from …
— Whom?
Look in the eyes, smile.
— From spiders, mosquitoes and reporters, dear. Do you agree?
He smiled back and squinted.
— From spiders with mosquitoes — no problem, you yourself do not want to communicate with them. But the reporters… Are you sure you won't go to them yourself? They will call you, time after time. And not only reporters.
Her face hardened, her look became serious, she put her hand on his arm, squeezed her fingers.
— I will not return there. Never.
Not everything was smooth at the beginning. They were very careful. Sometimes even too careful and this often led to suspicions and quarrels. Even to parting. Did she again make a mistake? No. The separation was short. They overcame everything together. They were meant for each other — nothing could separate them. Both went to this a long and difficult path.
