a seance.
Myshevsky. That’s right, professor. But anyway, I think we’d better not to delay the prelude. The expectation of death is worse than the death itself, this is a well-known truth.
Ogranovich. What death are you talking about?
Myshevsky. About spiritual one, and nothing more.
Vykhuholev. Therefore, you have nothing to fear of, Elena Pavlovna. From this point of view, you don’t live any longer in this world.
Ogranovich. Oh, stop your jokes, please!
Golyshkin. Dear guests! Silence please! I am starting the session. Mr. Myshevsky, get ready, please. When I show you a sign, you should give me the recipe of the philosopher's stone.
Myshevsky. Why is that?
Golyshkin. I will have to read it to the spirit of Hermes Trismegistus. Otherwise, how will he be able to answer where there is an error in it or not? After all, he needs to know what recipe we are asking about. But the spirit should hear only me.
Myshevsky. Yes, you're right, professor.
Golyshkin. Do you have the recipe with you? As I said, it needs to be handwritten with a pencil on a sheet of paper.
Myshevsky. I did everything as you asked.
Golyshkin. Then let's start!
Everyone keeps silent. Golyshkin takes the saucer, heats it from the inside over the candle, and places it on edge in the middle of the table, in the center of the alphabetical circle.
Golyshkin. Spirit of Hermes Trismegistus, I appeal to you! Please, come to us! Spirit of Hermes Thrice Greatest, I appeal to you! Spirit of Hermes Trismegistus! Appear to us!
With each new phrase, the rustles and creaks in the room get louder. The wind is howling. Somewhere in the apartment, a door banged.
Olga. Look, the saucer is alive!
Golyshkin. Keep silence!
Ogranovich. I am going to faint now! Somebody has touched me with the icy hand. Hey, shrink, is that your stupid joke again?
Golyshkin. Be quiet, otherwise you will scare him off! I am in the contact with the spirit of Hermes Trismegistus – I feel that. Hermes Thrice Greatest, I appeal to you! Answer just one of my question: where is the mistake in your recipe of the philosopher's stone?
Olga. The saucers is moving along the alphabet!
Golyshkin. Write down each letter!
Olga. I am writing.
Golyshkin. What is there?
Olga. W… what … what reci… What recipe! He asks “what recipe”!
Golyshkin makes a sign and Myshevsky takes a paper out of his pocket and gives it to him.
Golyshkin. Listen and answer I conjure you! (reading). "In order to make the elixir of the wise, called the philosopher's stone, take some philosophical mercury and heat it until it turns into a green lion. After that, heat it more, until turns into a red lion. Heat this red lion on a sand bath with acidic grape alcohol, evaporate the result and the mercury will turn into gum-like substance that can be cut with a knife. Put it in a clayed retort and slowly distill it. Separately collect the liquids of various compositions that will appear. The Cimmerian shadows will cover the retort with their dark veil, and you will find a true dragon inside it, for he devours his own tail. Take this black dragon, rub it on a stone, and touch it with a hot coal. It will catch fire, immediately taking a splendid lemon color, it will turn a green lion again. Make it devour his own tail and distill the result again. Finally, carefully purify it. And you will see some burning water and human blood. Let it stand still for the day and night. The thing that you will see will be the philosopher's stone.
The howls of the wind get louder, and by the end Golyshkin has to almost scream to be heard. The flame of the candles fluctuates more and more. Finally he finishes reading. Nothing happens for a while, then the saucer starts to move.
Olga. He is answering!.. I am writing down!
Golyshkin. Let me read! No, I can't make out your handwriting. Read it yourself!
Olga. "Replace grape spirit with camphor oil."
Golyshkin. We’ve done it! We’ve got it! Can you hear, Myshevsky? And I didn't really believe it myself!
Myshevsky. I told you that, professor! So, everything was not in vain! We will get rich!
Golyshkin. Be quiet! The session is not over yet! I must say goodbye to the spirit… Thank you, Hermes Trismegistus! What do you want in return for your confession?
Olga. The saucer is moving again!
Golyshkin. Write!
Olga. “I want the death of the one who dared to turn to me, revealing my secret. His father was killed by an iron man falling down from the top. He will die before the earth is covered with a white shroud”…
Golyshkin screams out and jumps up, dropping his chair. Then, clutching his heart with his hand, he falls down on the floor. A strong gust of wind blows out the candle flame. Everything is plunged into darkness.
Act 2
Vykhuholev and Ogranovich sit in the room. The man plays chess. In front of the woman is a bottle of vodka and a glass, which she fills and drinks from time to time.
Ogranovich. What time is it, can anyone tell me?
Vykhuholev. It’s about four or five o’clock.
Ogranovich. Can you be more precise?
Vykhuholev. I can't really. My watch and mobile phone were taken away by the professor before the session. As well as are your accessories. And only he can tell where they are now. But to do this he needs to come to his senses. So what are we waiting for!
Ogranovich. It’s like a nuthouse! Can't you call an ambulance at least?
Vykhuholev. What for?
Ogranovich. They will take professor to the hospital and we would go home. By the way, meanwhile we are waiting, whether he would die or not, I might take a hot bath with a glass of good cognac. (Drinking) Oh! What a nasty thing!
Vykhuholev. What nonsense are you talking about, Elena Pavlovna?
Ogranovich. What?! Well, a woman is not allowed even to dream!
Vykhuholev. A woman is surely allowed.
Ogranovich. Are there your dirty hints again?
Vykhuholev. There are not the hints, Elena Pavlovna. You are sipping vodka like a
