is immortal, unlike me, unfortunately.
Golyshkin. But if I offer you something more interesting?
Olga. What exactly? But please, don’t tempt me with the stars in the night sky. It's wonderful of course, but… I hope you understand me, professor!
Golyshkin. What about a spiritual session?
Olga. You said “seance”, is that right? It might be of some interest to me.
Golyshkin. So do you agree?
Olga. I think, I’d rather accept your invitation. And when will this exciting event happen?
Golyshkin. Very soon. I'll call you back, Olya.
Golyshkin hangs up. The spotlight goes down, then it flashes again, snatching Myshevsky out of the darkness.
Myshevsky. So what did you decide, professor?
Golyshkin. I agree.
Myshevsky. And when?
Golyshkin. I need to prepare something for the session. Will the day after tomorrow suit you?
Myshevsky. Sure. Do you mind if I invite two friends of mine?
Golyshkin. It would be nice. I was just thinking about where to find six people. We need to make a hexagram.
Myshevsky. Did you say hexagram?
Golyshkin. Yes. The six-pointed star of Solomon is the best geometric figure for our session. Of course, we might place people in a form of a pentagram. In that case we will need only five people for the session. But the effect may be weakened then. Well, I don’t think you need all these details… The result is important, as far as I understand.
Myshevsky. You are right professor. Everything else is absolutely not important.
The light goes down and then it flashes again. The doorbell rings. Golyshkin opens the door. Myshevsky comes in, followed by Vykhuholev and Ogranovich.
Myshevsky. Good evening, professor. Let me introduce you to my companions. Ogranovich Elena Pavlovna, a notary and an old friend of mine.
Ogranovich. Or it’s better to say an old warhorse.
Myshevsky. I should say, that Elena Pavlovna has a specific sense of humor. You have to get used to it. And it’s Vykhukholev Sergey Yurievich, a psychiatrist, or in other words “shrink”, as your son Rodion prefers to say.
Ogranovich. Yes, I have always said and I keep saying that today's youth is much smarter and wittier than us. We grew up in the era when everything was impossible. And they grew up when everything is possible. So, that made them…
Vykhuholev. More impudent, unscrupulous and irresponsible than we us. Elena Pavlovna, you are blinded by your passion for handsome young guys.
Myshevsky. Elena Pavlovna! Sergey Yurievich! It’s not the right time to argue! I beg you! Can you imagine that, professor? It’s always like that, when they get together…
Golyshkin. The topic that your friends have touched is urgent to me. I can talk about it for hours. But you're right, now is not the right time. Elena Pavlovna, let me help you!
Ogranovich. Don’t worry, professor! Being a woman, doesn’t mean to annoy men with all that stuff. So, don’t practice curtsies with me. Leave them for young chicks. But I am an old warhorse, as you have already heard.
Golyshkin. Hmm, Excuse me… Please, come in!
Everyone comes in the office. Golyshkin takes a seat at the desk. Ogranovich sits in a chair opposite. Vykhuholev sits down at a coffee table, takes out a box of chess from his pocket, arranges the pieces and starts playing by himself. Myshevsky walks around the room.
Ogranovich. I’d rather have some vodka now. It’s so cold, I am chilling! What about it, professor?
Golyshkin. One shouldn’t eat much and drink alcohol before a spiritual seance. But I can offer you a cup of coffee or tea. And we'll have dinner afterwards.
Vykhuholev. This chill is because of nerves, Elena Pavlovna. Vodka won't keep you warm.
Ogranovich. Oh, what a doctor you are! When I go crazy, then you’ll give me your advice, shrink.
Vykhuholev. I am looking forward to that time.
Myshevsky. Professor, you told about six people. There are four of us here. Is someone else coming?
Golyshkin. My son, Rodion. You already know him. And there is also one more lady.
Myshevsky. Oh, really? And who is she? Can she be trusted?
Golyshkin. Sure! Trust me.
Myshevsky. But I would like to know it for sure. I cannot reveal the recipe of the philosopher's stone to a stranger. I hope you understand me…
Golyshkin. Oh, your recipe! Olga Alekseevna is an extremely necessary person for our session. I will be a medium. My task is to establish contact, ask certain questions. But someone has to write down the answers. This will happen by moving the saucer around the alphabetical circle. Of course, if only the spirit of Hermes Trismegistus agrees to such a way of communication. But he also might choose to talk directly to a medium who would fell into trance, or he might prefer visible materialization, for instance.
Ogranovich. Oh, please, not this thing! If I see that your … – what‘s his name? – with my own eyes… Hermes! Oh, what a name! I will immediately die of fear.
Golyshkin. Don’t worry. Such thing happens very rarely during sessions.
Ogranovich. In my case it will definitely happen. You'll see it.
Myshevsky. Elena Pavlovna, shame on you! Follow Sergei Yurievich’s example – he is calm and confident, like a granite rock.
Ogranovich. Sergei Yurievich is accustomed to dealing with all sorts of psychos and maniacs. An individual of a split personality is a common case for him. Just take a look at him! What’s the difference between him and other psychos? He doesn't even need a partner to play chess with. Oh, no, my mind is not ready to accept this! Sorry, for feeling myself a woman sometimes!
Vykhuholev. Why have you come then? I don't understand such people…
Myshevsky. Friends, friends, don’t argue, please! You are here because I wanted this. I can trust only you.
Ogranovich. Maybe you can do it without me? And when you need me…
Myshevsky. Unfortunately, it won't work. Our respectful professor states there should be six people for a séance to make a hexagram. Is that right, Stalver Udarpyatovich?
Golyshkin. Actually, there might be any number of people. But the hexagram is the best way to communicate with ghosts. Seeing the six-pointed star, spirits usually take on human image and become submissive.
Ogranovich. Hey, psychiatrist, here's exactly
